Plan B is the new Plan A
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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