I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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