walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
