She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
