Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
