these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
