I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
