I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
