he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
