I've blown a few things in my day
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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