her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
she told me i tasted like america
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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