I'm really into asian looking animals
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
