We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
