In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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