Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
this is an emotional support booty call
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
