Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
