oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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