Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
