Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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