So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
