White coat. Heels.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
it hurts more in the daytime
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
