Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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