Kiss
Puke
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
