Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I just found puke in my bra..
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My dick has a subreddit
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
