So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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