What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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