girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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