do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
