lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
