as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
