i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize