My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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