just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
i need some magic done to my vagina
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize