D3 body, D1 cock
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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