actually, I'm a sock model
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
