:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize