I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
