I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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