I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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