Can i not drive my cunt home
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I could fuck to npr.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
