just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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