What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
