The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
