we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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