It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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