sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
