i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
