Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
