Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
