"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
