theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
