my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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