i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
