i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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