you traded sex for a burrito?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
