Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
