You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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