first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
