the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
